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NW Magazine is running a story that an unplanned pregnancy is behind the reunion of Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer.

    But while friends are scratching their heads about what made Jen take the playboy musician back, the smile the actress has been wearing says it all — she’s pregnant and loving it!

Wait. Are they speculating she’s pregnant based off of her smile? I know Jenn’s life is depressing and she has very little to be pleased about, but come on. That’s like me saying that cute girl at Starbucks wants to sleep with me because she always tells me to have a nice day. Even though she does. You can’t base a wild rumor off of a happy disposition. You base it off of anonymous sources or in my case, the fact that you’re given correct change every time you buy a latte.

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Jennifer Aniston snapped pictures of boyfriend John Mayer as he performed at the Hard Rock Calling Festival in Hyde Park on Saturday. According to Us Weekly

“Jennifer must have taken about 10 photos during Mayer’s set,” [says] a source. When Mayer exited the stage, Aniston “wrapped her arms around his neck.”

What do you want to bet those pictures end up in a shrine along with a lock of his hair, a gris-gris, and the womb of a white rabbit soaked in rainwater? Jennifer’s going to be pregnant by the end of the year. Mark my words, people.

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Since she started dating 30 year-old John Mayer, 39 year-old Jennifer Aniston has dropped nearly twenty grand a month on maintaining a youthful visage. The Enquirer says

“Her monthly regimen includes private instruction with a top yoga guru and personal training sessions. Jen pays a private chef for organic, high-protein, low-fat meals [and] goes for anti-cellulite sculpting treatments twice a month. She calls the treatments ‘necessary tune-ups.”

But all those tune-ups might not be doing the trick. Just two days before Jen flew to Amsterdam to meet Mayer, the singer was busy cheesing up some chick in a Dutch coffeehouse. According to In Touch

On June 20, John approached a writer from Manhattan Beach and sat beside her at her table. “I think he thought I was from Amsterdam, because he said, ‘I am John and I am a singer.’ I asked him what his relationship status was. He said, ‘It’s vague.’ I asked him what that meant and he said, ‘You know, it’s very vague.’ What she did say is that John was acting very much like a single man. “I never would have guessed he had a girlfriend at all. ”

Anti-cellulite spa sculpting treatments: $1,000. Thrice-weekly yoga session with top Hollywood guru: $3,000. Organic high-protein meals flown in by your personal chef: $3,500. Finding out your boyfriend cheated on you with some slut in fourteen dollars’ worth of Wet ‘n’ Wild from Walgreens: priceless. There are somethings that money can’t buy. For everything else, there’s actual self-esteem.

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