That Girl Site

Two things:

1. Hot corn.

2. Butt.

That out of the way, on to the bigger story: Jessica Simpson would be nestled up against an Oscar right now if her jerk-off dad hadn’t gotten in the way of the role of a lifetime. People magazine reports

“The last script that came to us was for Jessica to be a porn star,” Jessica’s father and manager, Joe Simpson, [said] at Thursday’s ABC Television Critics Association party. “We were promised we would win an Oscar with that… I was like, ‘Eh, we’ll just buy a [statue of a] little man and keep our clothes on.’”

Because if anybody’s going to be seeing Jessica Simpson naked and taking two wieners at once, it’s going to be Joe, goddammit, and one of those wieners is going to damn well be his. You can tell by all the “we” talk he’s working there. Only stage mothers at “Little Miss” pageants and incestual ex-preachers talk like that. Or sometimes crazy people speaking to their reflections about their plans to take over the world. But I’m not crazy. Since changing my meds, it’s mostly just “My, we look pretty today, don’t we?” or “Tricksy hobbitses stole it from us. My precioussss!” and a lot of raw-fish eating.

Just a quick post here at Thatgirlsite.com about Jessica Simpson. I just saw her performance on the Today Show and her voice was really struggling. She just needs to shut up and not sing anymore. Here’s an idea, how about just walking around in a bikini? Just a thought. More below:

From Aol Jessica Simpson finally sang on the Today show Friday, although on doctor’s orders, she could only whisper when speaking to host Matt Lauer.

Simpson had previously been scheduled to sing songs from her new album, A Public Affair, on Tuesday, the day the disc was released, but was forced to cancel due to a bruised vocal cord.

But on Friday morning, Simpson, a rose tucked behind her ear and sporting a short haircut and checkered short shorts, sang her single "I Belong to Me" outdoors at New York City’s Rockefeller Plaza before a polite and attentive crowd - and an army of paparazzi.

"I love you," she said to fans.

Between numbers, Simpson drank something medicinal prepared by her vocal coach and which Lauer described as "gnarly looking - I don’t even want to know what it is."

"I don’t want to know, either," said Simpson, flashing a brown potion inside a glass canister. She then told the audience, "My voice is shot," before going into "With You," which she called "the T-shirt song" (for its lyric, "With nothing but a T-shirt on/ I never felt so beautiful/ Baby, as I do now/ Now that I’m with you").

"I have no voice," she said afterwards to Lauer, explaining that the problem wasn’t laryngitis. "I bruised a blood vessel in my vocal cords. I don’t know if I had, like, a screaming, crying attack, or a coughing attack, or a sneeze or what."

When she learned of her diagnosis just as she was scheduled to begin promoting her album, Simpson said her reaction was "Oh, dang it!" But, she said, she promised to make good on any cancelled appearances (she’d postponed a visit to the Late Show with David Letterman and stopped by - but didn’t sing on - MTV’s TRL on Tuesday).

Thursday night at the MTV Video Music Awards, Simpson presented the best dance video trophy to the Pussycat Dolls.

"The VMAs were a blast," she told Lauer. "I was only there for a little bit."

She didn’t go to any parties afterward? "If I did," she said, "I wouldn’t be here today."

Simpson didn’t talk about her personal life on her Today appearance, but said of her "feel-good" album, "It has my heart all over it."

Jessica Simpson finally managed to sing on the Today show today after previously canceling due to a "bruised blood vessel in [her] vocal cords." And although her vocal cords stood up to a few minutes of intense yelling and screaming, she was forced to whisper to Matt Lauer during the interview. Which seems like the classic Jessica Simpson thing to do, because she loves hamming it up for the camera. She can be cute as a button, but she has a habit of acting like an ass whenever she thinks she might get a little attention. You know that thing singers do when they pretend they’re really into their music and hold up their hands? That’s what Jessica Simpson does, but she does it with her entire face and body. It’s annoying as hell, and the only people it’s impressing are her dad and the imaginary cartoon squirrel she talks to when she’s alone.

Technorati Tags: Celebrity Gossip, Girls, Jessica Simpson Gossip, Jessica Simpson News Updates

Great news Jessica won…not an award but much more….!Looks like some people have all the luck…Jessica Simpson is just one of them.Simpson walked away with a Chrysler Crossfire on Thursday, selecting the winning key that turned the ignition to the $50,000 luxury car at the Style Villa, one of the numerous luxury freebie suites set up for celebrities during the week of the Video Music Awards.

Besides free makeup, liquor, clothes, watches, private jet discounts and motorcycle leases, the suite featured Chrysler, which offered stars the opportunity to select a car key at random. Simpson - arriving Thursday afternoon - selected the key that started the car.

That’s not all she got. Simpson and her hairstylist/BFF Ken Paves went through four floors of swag at the Bryant Park Hotel and selected some of her favorite things, including jewelry and clothes. At the Nessa Lee Style suite, she and Paves made matching bracelets out of charms - Nessa Lee Style owner Vanessa Antonelli said Simpson chose the moon symbol for rest, an apple for health (Simpson lost her voice this week), a peace sign and two feathers.

At one point, Antonelli says Simpson asked her what the dolphin symbol meant. When Antonelli said it stood for intelligence, Simpson - famous for her airhead persona - retorted: “Who needs that?” Your right Jessica who needs intelligence..but you know what we think it would be better if you believed in the need of intelligence also…using it atleast sometime would be good..I mean you never know if your luck will support you next time.

Singer Jessica Simpson seems to have a cup full of woes these days…It was bad enough for her to lose her voice but now the timing is turning out to be a real pain!

As if to add insult to the injury Jessica finds herself in the middle of a promotion campaign for her latest album “A Public Affair”, a scenario which demands her best part - Her Voice!!But without a voice it is quite a letdown for a singer!!

Her publicist said “It is true that she has indeed lost her voice…She has been ordered to rest…She can talk…croak out a few sentences but she can’t sing”

He later attributed this to a “Bruise on her vocal chord”

But she can’t be silenced forever!!!

jessica simpson singer jessica simpson

Jessica Simpson is dating these days with singer and song writer John Mayer as per the rumors.

She seems quite happier these days with her new found love and is back with full force into the dating world. Mayer is currently heading a tour along with Sheryl Crow. Show was launched on August 24 and Jessica Simpson is going to join the show in Jones Beach on Wednesday night.

Jessica is currently busy with promotion of her new album in New York. She is currently having a bruised vocal cord so any performances could be ruled out. Mayer is suffering with laryngitis due to which he had to cancel his Hartford appearance with Crow on Saturday.

Two singers know each other since long and were last seen together at Clive Davis’s pre-Grammy’s party in Beverly Hills. Jessica Simpson was out of dating arena since her divorce with her hubby Nick Lachey in November 2005. There is also a rumor that Simpson might be involved with other actors which could include Jared Leto and comic Dane Cook. Let’s wait and watch as time will tell us the truth.

jessica simpson john mayer rumors

If silence could speak a thousand words then one can say that right now Jessica Simpson is the most talkative gal in town!Jessica who had a full schedule of appearances lined up to promote her new album, A Public Affair, has lost her voice!

A doctor warned the 26-year-old songstress to not use it or else face losing it, saying that Simpson should refrain from talking while she gives her pipes time to rest. Under doctor’s orders, Simpson was forced to cancel dates on Today, Total Request Live and The Late Show with David Letterman. Instead, the In This Skin singer flew to New York a day earlier than planned and met with a voice specialist. “She’s on total vocal rest and some of her appearances have been delayed,” Simpson’s rep, Rob Shuter, confirmed. A friend said that Simpson, who’s been communicating with people via notepad and pen, was feeling physically okay but was bummed about the bad timing.

Don’t worry Jessica .Think of the bright side….once you recover people will Actually be desperate to listen to you!……..for once atleast …….IMAGINE!

jessica simpson

You might think that Nick Lachey is one of the luckiest bastards on the planet because he’s been with both Jessica Simpson and Vanessa Minillo. Well, I’m here to tell you that he’s not the luckiest bastard since he’s never been with Stacy Keibler or Petra Nemcova, like I have. So in reality, I’m the luckiest bastard on the planet because I had them both at the same time just the other night and I don’t care if it was a dream. It felt damn good.

Article originally posted at ThatGirlSite.com

Technorati Tags: Girls, Jessica Simpson, Jessica Simpson News Updates, News

I’m not sure what’s happening to Jessica Simpson but if you look closely at these pictures, you’ll notice that her face is taking on a new creature-like form and it has nothing to do with those ugly sunglasses she’s wearing. It has to do with her face blowing up like a Cabbage Patch Doll. Now maybe I’m overreacting a bit and Jessica is only retaining a little water but you have to understand that I thought Britney Spears was once retaining a “little” water and look what happened to her. Whatever the case may be, right now, this second, I’d still like to peel those tight black jeans off her.

They say that there is a silver lining to every dark cloud. And for sure singer-actress Jessica Simpson is been searching for one post her much publicized divorce from husband Nick Lachey. The split that came after a tumultuous three-year relationship was even documented on reality TV show ‘Newlyweds: Nick & Jessica’

But instead of being all gloomy and sad about what has happened. The affable star is looking at the brighter side of things and looking at them in a new perspective.

She says, “I feel free, independent and strong. Once I realized how much I really did want from life, I took on a whole new perspective.”

Post her divorce she is very much certain to realize her career ambitions. Now that’s what we call a real positive attitude. Keep it up babes…

jessica simpson nick lachey singer actress

This is seriously the funniest piece of news i’ve heard in a long time.It’s quite usual for stars to speak for a particular cause but this seems to be a role reversal.Jessica Simpson along with Britney Spears and Paris Hilton have united to speak out against the homeless!! HOPAC, (Homeless Over Political Action Group) will draw on funds generated from the sales of Britney Spears, Jessica Simpson, and Paris Hilton CD’s. The three will also contribute millions of dollars from their personal fortunes. The money will be used to bribe US congressmen and senators to draft legislation limiting the amount of oxygen homeless people can legally use.

“We don’t think it’s right that people who contribute nothing to our society should be allowed to keep breathing,” said Jessica Simpson, “They don’t make super great music like the three of us, and they weren’t born super beautiful. No, these mooches just spend their lives guilt-tripping good hardworking folk like us for our money.”“What do they have against owning a home anyway?” added Simpson, her voice rising with anger. “We all own at least seven! These losers really need to get with the program already. Buy yourself a home or get lost in the shuffle.” !

Along with planning an upcoming collaboration pop single entitled “A Public Despair” to promote their cause, the three are calling for the rounding up and execution of every homeless person in the country.We all just have so much in common! I’m so glad we all finally met,” said Britney Spears, “As a hotel heiress, Paris has been dealing with homeless bums her whole life. Jessica is from the South, and many of her family members are homeless too. And me! I married one. Biggest mistake I ever made.”

What can i say…………I’m still not able to get over this!!!!!;)

britney spears jessica simpson paris hilton

Tara Reid’s breasts still remain a mystery to me. You see, I’ve spent my fair share of time in strip clubs and I’ve never seen a girl with fake boobs that sag. Usually, one of the reasons why someone would get implants is because their breasts hang lower than a turtle’s IQ. However, Tara seems to enjoy showing her not-so-funbags off by wearing little bikinis and low cut dresses. Does she not know that her boobies are a mistake? It’s as if she was high on coke when she got them done… but then again, most strippers are high 95% the time and their boobs look fine. So I guess the only way to solve this mystery is to go straight to the source and ask Dr.Frankenstein himself.

Technorati Tags: Celebrity Gossip, Jessica Simpson, Jessica Simpson Gossip, Jessica Simpson News Updates, News

Nick Lachey’s words are very heart-rending, when he speaks about his ex-wife JESSICA SIMPSON..He says his “biggest fear is being alone” and feeling like he’ll “never find that person, that you’re looking for, especially when you thought you had it.” Still, Lachey remains hopeful : Lachey, 32, and Jessica Simpson, 25, starred in the MTV reality show, “Newlyweds: Nick & Jessica.”

The singer-actress filed for divorce in December, after three years of marriage.. In Lachey’s new solo album, “What’s Left of Me,” he sings openly about divorce-driven heartbreak and angst on the title track and in songs such as “I Can’t Hate You Anymore.” If Simpson feels attacked, Lachey says he doesn’t mean any harm: “Jessica knows I still love her.”

jessica simpson nick lachey singer actress

Despite reports that Jessica Simpson has distanced herself from her dad Joe Simpson and was set to pursue her career in her own selected direction a report from Us Weekly claims that Jessica Simpson has fired her agent after he got into a tiff with Joe.

Jessica Simpson has fired Brandt Joel, her agent at CAA, and is now being represented by Rick Nicita also of CAA. “Brandt got into a huge fight with Joe Simpson,” said a source. “Joe is constantly trying to butt in and he doesn’t know what the hell he’s doing. Jessica took her father’s side and fired him.”

This has come as quite a suprise to many people as a Us Weekly just reported last week that Joe may had been losing his one-time iron grip on Jessica Simpson and sister Ashlee Simpson citing sources that claimed the girls have had enough.

At this moment all we can say is ‘hold on Mr.Simpson…it could be your turn next’..;)

ashlee simpson jessica simpson joe simpson