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Well, here it is in black and white, folks: David Copperfield is a dirty fucking rapist. According to the NY Daily News

A friend of the woman’s [said] “Copperfield invited [the woman in question] to a lavish party at his remote compound in the Bahamas, but when she got there, she discovered there was no party and no other guests. She wanted to go home right away, but David [said] she could leave the next day if she really wanted to. That night, Copperfield forced himself on her, holding her arms down on the bed, leaving her with terrible bruises. She told me she fought back, but that just seemed to turn him on more. After Copperfield had finished with her, [she used] her cell phone to take photos of the crime scene. In order to preserve physical evidence, she didn’t shower. The next day, she went back home to Seattle… and drove straight to the Harborview Medical Center, where medical personnel performed a ‘rape kit’ on her.”

Agents from Seattle’s FBI office later coordinated a sting operation with the woman - encouraging her to e-mail the magician and arranging a meeting in Vegas, according to the friend.

Movies like “The Prestige” and “The Illusionist” might have convinced you that magicians are totally cool and poweful, but I’m here to remind you they’re not. They’re huge queers like Criss Angel and that douchebag who locked himself in underwater bubble for a week. Blain? Bain? No matter. For all practical purposes his name should have been “Cum Stain.” Look, having millions of dollars and a show in Vegas doesn’t erase two decades spent as “Eliazar the Infernal Voice Third Level Elven Rogue” or an adolescence filled with purple nurples. It takes several years of hard drinking and a lot sex with prostitutes before you can really ever shake those shackles of dorkdom.

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Carrie Underwood has a new boyfriend

Heaven help us.

From People.com

The singer is “talking about doing a country record and going back to her roots, being from Texas,” Jessica’s father and manager Joe Simpson [said] at Hard Rock
Hotel’s Rolling Stone party in Las Vegas. “Everything in our business is about beats and I think she really wants to sing,” he said, “and country music still
believes in that.” On whether she will be accepted among country fans, he said, “She’s from Texas. How could she not?”

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Yes, Jessica, we believe you. Your daddy loves his little girl, but not in an inappropriate way. He would never want to ogle your breasts and he surely never talked momma Tina into playing the at-home version of Newlyweds, complete with Ken Paves wigs. He just likes to take pictures of you while you’re on a bed, wrapped in a sheet, and looking as relaxed and fulfilled as that lady in the old Calgon ads. But he didn’t ask you to think about dildos while he was taking those pictures, so that’s gotta count for something.

The above picture of Jessica was taken by Joe Simpson. While daddies taking pictures of their daughters is a totally normal occurrence, usually it involves a small child in a frilly dress chasing a lady bug and the dad competing for attention, saying, "Look over here, honey, look at the SpongeBob." When the girl has matured and needs some pics to show the world that, even though her sister has stolen her identity, she’s still got it. These are pictures that will be pinned up in Army barracks. Usually Daddy leaves that to a professional photographer, one who can fantasize about the girl without mentally breaking a dozen laws. But Jessica explains that there’s nothing at all creepy about Joe noticing his daughter’s sexual attributes (mainly those double-D’s he loves to talk about).

No, I’ve had double D’s for a long time. Are you kidding? No. My family is extremely close. I talk to my mom about my sex life. That’s not something that creeps me out. We’re Podunk Southern. And my dad is very open about his ideas and…it’s disgusting that people would actually think…people are making a judgment on something that is false.
Refuting icky insinuations of incest by saying you’re "Podunk Southern" may not be the best way to handle the situation. That’s like saying, "I can’t possibly be an alcoholic; I’m a WASP."

So, the big rumour that’s spreading around the Interweb again is whether or not Jessica Simpson had sex with Bam Margera of Jackass. And while no one is saying anything outright, Bam’s appearance on the The Howard Stern show this past tuesday has brought the story back into the light. It’s hard to tell truth from fiction, but thankfully, ContactMusic CityRag did the hard work of putting the pieces together.

Margera’s former fiance, Jenn Rivell, told a Pennsylvania radio show in 2005 that Simpson and Margera had sex while the pop star was still married to Nick Lachey. At the time, Bam’s father Phil Margera also told Philadelphia radio deejays Preston + Steve his son admitted bedding Simpson. Stern interrogated Margera on his show, asking about the night the two spent together while she was filming The Dukes of Hazzard with his Jackass co-star Johnny Knoxville. Margera said the relationship was blown out of proportion, but admitted he "bumped into Simpson", which caused his fellow Jackass co-star Steve-O to say suggestively, "Yeah, BUMPED into her!" Margera claims they "wound up at her parents house drinking margaritas and it went from there" and said afterwards he "left at eight in the morning". When Stern asked Margera if Simpson looked good naked, he said she had a personal trainer for the film adding, "Yeah, she looked good. I can’t deny that!"

So did they do it? Maybe, but if so, Jessica Simpson is officially off my list, because that shit is dirty. Of course, one should also keep in mind that both Jessica and Bam each have a movie opening this week, and there’s nothing better than publicity to sell movie tickets. Well, aside from a good movie, but if you don’t have that, go for the publicity.

And speaking of movie openings, here’s Jessica Simpson at the premiere of Employee of the Month, with more after the jump. For obvious reasons, I’m not posting any pictures of Bam Margera.

Technorati Tags: Jessica Simpson, Jessica Simpson Breaking News, Jessica Simpson Gossip

Great news Jessica won…not an award but much more….!Looks like some people have all the luck…Jessica Simpson is just one of them.Simpson walked away with a Chrysler Crossfire on Thursday, selecting the winning key that turned the ignition to the $50,000 luxury car at the Style Villa, one of the numerous luxury freebie suites set up for celebrities during the week of the Video Music Awards.

Besides free makeup, liquor, clothes, watches, private jet discounts and motorcycle leases, the suite featured Chrysler, which offered stars the opportunity to select a car key at random. Simpson - arriving Thursday afternoon - selected the key that started the car.

That’s not all she got. Simpson and her hairstylist/BFF Ken Paves went through four floors of swag at the Bryant Park Hotel and selected some of her favorite things, including jewelry and clothes. At the Nessa Lee Style suite, she and Paves made matching bracelets out of charms - Nessa Lee Style owner Vanessa Antonelli said Simpson chose the moon symbol for rest, an apple for health (Simpson lost her voice this week), a peace sign and two feathers.

At one point, Antonelli says Simpson asked her what the dolphin symbol meant. When Antonelli said it stood for intelligence, Simpson - famous for her airhead persona - retorted: “Who needs that?” Your right Jessica who needs intelligence..but you know what we think it would be better if you believed in the need of intelligence also…using it atleast sometime would be good..I mean you never know if your luck will support you next time.

Yes… Jessica Simpson is making news again… and this time it is not for music or relationships but for her lip enhancement surgery. After all the paparazzi went crazy why she looked different for some time, Jessica confessed it very late because she hated the results.

She said, “I had that Restylane stuff. It looked fake to me. I didn’t like that. But…it went away in, like, four months. My lips are back to what they were. Thank God!”

And no wonder she looks sexy again.

Singer Jessica Simpson seems to have a cup full of woes these days…It was bad enough for her to lose her voice but now the timing is turning out to be a real pain!

As if to add insult to the injury Jessica finds herself in the middle of a promotion campaign for her latest album “A Public Affair”, a scenario which demands her best part - Her Voice!!But without a voice it is quite a letdown for a singer!!

Her publicist said “It is true that she has indeed lost her voice…She has been ordered to rest…She can talk…croak out a few sentences but she can’t sing”

He later attributed this to a “Bruise on her vocal chord”

But she can’t be silenced forever!!!

jessica simpson singer jessica simpson

Jessica Simpson is dating these days with singer and song writer John Mayer as per the rumors.

She seems quite happier these days with her new found love and is back with full force into the dating world. Mayer is currently heading a tour along with Sheryl Crow. Show was launched on August 24 and Jessica Simpson is going to join the show in Jones Beach on Wednesday night.

Jessica is currently busy with promotion of her new album in New York. She is currently having a bruised vocal cord so any performances could be ruled out. Mayer is suffering with laryngitis due to which he had to cancel his Hartford appearance with Crow on Saturday.

Two singers know each other since long and were last seen together at Clive Davis’s pre-Grammy’s party in Beverly Hills. Jessica Simpson was out of dating arena since her divorce with her hubby Nick Lachey in November 2005. There is also a rumor that Simpson might be involved with other actors which could include Jared Leto and comic Dane Cook. Let’s wait and watch as time will tell us the truth.

jessica simpson john mayer rumors

If silence could speak a thousand words then one can say that right now Jessica Simpson is the most talkative gal in town!Jessica who had a full schedule of appearances lined up to promote her new album, A Public Affair, has lost her voice!

A doctor warned the 26-year-old songstress to not use it or else face losing it, saying that Simpson should refrain from talking while she gives her pipes time to rest. Under doctor’s orders, Simpson was forced to cancel dates on Today, Total Request Live and The Late Show with David Letterman. Instead, the In This Skin singer flew to New York a day earlier than planned and met with a voice specialist. “She’s on total vocal rest and some of her appearances have been delayed,” Simpson’s rep, Rob Shuter, confirmed. A friend said that Simpson, who’s been communicating with people via notepad and pen, was feeling physically okay but was bummed about the bad timing.

Don’t worry Jessica .Think of the bright side….once you recover people will Actually be desperate to listen to you!……..for once atleast …….IMAGINE!

jessica simpson

You might think that Nick Lachey is one of the luckiest bastards on the planet because he’s been with both Jessica Simpson and Vanessa Minillo. Well, I’m here to tell you that he’s not the luckiest bastard since he’s never been with Stacy Keibler or Petra Nemcova, like I have. So in reality, I’m the luckiest bastard on the planet because I had them both at the same time just the other night and I don’t care if it was a dream. It felt damn good.

Article originally posted at ThatGirlSite.com

Technorati Tags: Girls, Jessica Simpson, Jessica Simpson News Updates, News

I’m not sure what’s happening to Jessica Simpson but if you look closely at these pictures, you’ll notice that her face is taking on a new creature-like form and it has nothing to do with those ugly sunglasses she’s wearing. It has to do with her face blowing up like a Cabbage Patch Doll. Now maybe I’m overreacting a bit and Jessica is only retaining a little water but you have to understand that I thought Britney Spears was once retaining a “little” water and look what happened to her. Whatever the case may be, right now, this second, I’d still like to peel those tight black jeans off her.

They say that there is a silver lining to every dark cloud. And for sure singer-actress Jessica Simpson is been searching for one post her much publicized divorce from husband Nick Lachey. The split that came after a tumultuous three-year relationship was even documented on reality TV show ‘Newlyweds: Nick & Jessica’

But instead of being all gloomy and sad about what has happened. The affable star is looking at the brighter side of things and looking at them in a new perspective.

She says, “I feel free, independent and strong. Once I realized how much I really did want from life, I took on a whole new perspective.”

Post her divorce she is very much certain to realize her career ambitions. Now that’s what we call a real positive attitude. Keep it up babes…

jessica simpson nick lachey singer actress

This is seriously the funniest piece of news i’ve heard in a long time.It’s quite usual for stars to speak for a particular cause but this seems to be a role reversal.Jessica Simpson along with Britney Spears and Paris Hilton have united to speak out against the homeless!! HOPAC, (Homeless Over Political Action Group) will draw on funds generated from the sales of Britney Spears, Jessica Simpson, and Paris Hilton CD’s. The three will also contribute millions of dollars from their personal fortunes. The money will be used to bribe US congressmen and senators to draft legislation limiting the amount of oxygen homeless people can legally use.

“We don’t think it’s right that people who contribute nothing to our society should be allowed to keep breathing,” said Jessica Simpson, “They don’t make super great music like the three of us, and they weren’t born super beautiful. No, these mooches just spend their lives guilt-tripping good hardworking folk like us for our money.”“What do they have against owning a home anyway?” added Simpson, her voice rising with anger. “We all own at least seven! These losers really need to get with the program already. Buy yourself a home or get lost in the shuffle.” !

Along with planning an upcoming collaboration pop single entitled “A Public Despair” to promote their cause, the three are calling for the rounding up and execution of every homeless person in the country.We all just have so much in common! I’m so glad we all finally met,” said Britney Spears, “As a hotel heiress, Paris has been dealing with homeless bums her whole life. Jessica is from the South, and many of her family members are homeless too. And me! I married one. Biggest mistake I ever made.”

What can i say…………I’m still not able to get over this!!!!!;)

britney spears jessica simpson paris hilton

Tara Reid’s breasts still remain a mystery to me. You see, I’ve spent my fair share of time in strip clubs and I’ve never seen a girl with fake boobs that sag. Usually, one of the reasons why someone would get implants is because their breasts hang lower than a turtle’s IQ. However, Tara seems to enjoy showing her not-so-funbags off by wearing little bikinis and low cut dresses. Does she not know that her boobies are a mistake? It’s as if she was high on coke when she got them done… but then again, most strippers are high 95% the time and their boobs look fine. So I guess the only way to solve this mystery is to go straight to the source and ask Dr.Frankenstein himself.

Technorati Tags: Celebrity Gossip, Jessica Simpson, Jessica Simpson Gossip, Jessica Simpson News Updates, News