That Girl Site

The Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition isn’t just filled with uber-hot supermodels; this year we get a nice dose of the husky Will Ferrell in his Jackie Moon role from Semi-Pro … thankfully Heidi Klum in a skimpy bikini is along for the ride. Heidi looks so good in fact, that I’m hardly distracted by Jackie’s super chops.

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Now if there’s anything that can distract me from the Super Bowl, it’s a naked Angelina Jolie. Here she is in the new Wanted trailer than ran during the Super Bowl. It isn’t that much different from the first Wanted Trailer, except for the half a second of pure bliss when a naked Angelina emerges glistening and showing off her killer tattoos.

I was a little let down when I realized that the movie was going to be based on the Wanted comic, and not a direct adaptation, but it looks like it’s still going to be a rocking ride. Wanted hits theatres June 27th.

The X-Files is my favorite TV show of all time, so when I heard that they were making a second movie, I was overjoyed. But that was years ago and it started to look like it was all a bunch of hooey. Well, the movie officially started filming in this past December and today we have some hard evidence for you: pictures of David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson as Special Agents Fox Mulder and Dana Scully from the set on The X-Files 2! And here’s even more good news straight from creator Chris Carter regarding what kind of movie we can expect:

“We spent a lot of time on (the mythology) and wrapped up a lot of threads”. “We want a stand-alone movie, not a mythology conspiracy one.” (Source

It’s great to see the two of them together again and the fact that the movie won’t deal with the alien conspiracy that dragged the show down is good to hear. And is it just me or is Scully even hotter now than she was back in the day? The X-Files 2 is set to hit theatres on July 25th, 2008

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Vanity Fair profiled the new Indiana Jones movie their February issue. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Pepaws comes out May 22nd and stars Shia LaDouche, Harry Ford, Cate Blanchett and that hot bitch Karen Allen. I’m actually excited to see this crap, because I can’t wait to see Cate as a hot, Russian Suri Cruise.

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When I was knee-high, one of my favorite comic issues was the What If Thor Battled Conan the Barbarian? title in the original What If…? series. Marvel’s cute alternate-dimension spin-off may have spawned some pretty weak product, overall, but No. 39 was a cherished read. I’m not sure if it was the story’s outrageous homo-eroticism, its deltoid aesthetic, or its abundance of flowing male locks, but something about that issue fascinated me. It also nurtured my embryonic inner fanboy, and gave me an appreciation for cross-over storytelling—as penny-dreadful cheap as that type of storytelling usually is. So when the first Alien vs. Predator movie emerged a few years back (a hybrid effort which also took a detour through the comic realm), I felt compelled to go see it despite the fact that it had all the promise of Ali Lohan. And like most fans of Alien and Predator who’d bought tickets to AvP on an act of faith, I grouched about how roundly it lived down to expectation for a while, then forgot about it.

Alien vs. Predator: Requiem won’t erase the bad taste of AvP from our collective memory; it’s an improvement over the first movie, but it’s the kind of improvement that doesn’t add up to much, like installing granite countertops and a whirlpool bath in a tar-covered pile that was condemned several years back. Foundations like dialogue and characterization and sequence are too flimsy—and to hell with the it’s just an action movie justification, because there’s more than one class of action movie, and the AvP films, with such an impressive pedigree, ought to succeed better at what they set out to do. Alien, Aliens and Predator are Class A popcorners that transcend genre and entertain us so well because they aim a little higher than just entertaining us. Movies in this category have more than enough (or just enough) script and production value to support the wonderful mayhem we’ve traded our ducats to see, and make everything come alive around it. Class B actioners may lack in one or more production departments, and are often sillier than a lopsided smile, but their energy and charm and teeth-shattering turbulence carry them along so beautifully that all the holes in the foundation are caulked and the structure stands proud (slot flicks like Tremors, Anaconda and Reign of Fire into Class B, if we’re keeping tabs). And then there’s Class C, the category where action movies go to die. It’s populated by yawns like the first AvP film and other lukewarm efforts that lack juice, in part because of inept filmmaking, and in part because the action sequences—the core component of the film—fart around rather than detonate brilliantly onscreen.

I think most viewers up for some snappy sci-fi ass-kickery would be thrilled if Requiem had the balls and energy to make its way into Class B (flawed in many ways, but bloody entertaining). I’m not sure it does. In fact, I could easily substitute Phillip’s review of AvP here, minus the plot outline, but (a) that would be too lazy even for me, and (b) like I said above, Requiem is a step up from the first movie, if only by millimeters. The action sequences don’t wheeze, at least, and the effects are more than passable (the brothers Strause, who co-directed with half-hearted boners, are better known as special effects wizards). The Predator has a fair amount of carapacious solidity onscreen, and the aliens’ nesting maws are as real as ever—but you can hide a lot of cheap latex in the shadows, and Requiem’s lighting (courtesy of Director of Photography Daniel C. Pearl, I assume) is more clumsy and muddy than artfully dim. Lighting design seems to have been waylaid altogether, somewhere, with this one, but I’ll move on before I get taken to task for discussing lighting in just an action movie.

The set-up: an alien-infested spacecraft dives into the Colorado mountains and releases acid-drippers into the woods. Down comes a Predator to clean up the mess and flay a few human trophies while he’s tracking the eggheads, who in turn are tracking podunk mountain town inhabitants for feast and fodder. The World’s Most Forgettable Characters fighting to survive the invasion include a handful of The O.C. rejects (except for the main O.C. type, played by Johnny Lewis, who may actually have been, at one point, on The O.C.), a bland town sheriff (John Ortiz), and a Ripley stand-in named Kelly O’Brien (Reiko Aylesworth); like Ripley, Kelly is taut, maternal, good with a gun, and trained to operate heavy equipment. I’ll stop the comparison there because that’s where the comparison ends, despite the filmmakers’ best efforts to homage us into giving a fuck about their product.

The scenes that are supposed to galvanize us most include aliens attacking teens in a high school swimming pool, homeless people meeting their maker in a sewer, the Predator taking out the town power-plant, and a handful of Alien-on-Predator arrangements that throw the odd punch but aren’t enough to sustain the movie. Especially a movie with dialogue so inept that what’s said onscreen doesn’t even deliver good B-movie entertainment in the way bad dialogue often can; here, the characters frequently speak at each other without actually responding to what’s been said (Woman in Labor in Maternity Ward During a Blackout: “When are the lights coming back on?” Nurse: “The power’s out. We’re operating on emergency generators.”). Or they utter contradictory nonsense in a single line (Sheriff to Deputy via Radio: “Keep in touch, otherwise I’ll see you in the morning.”). That’s probably too much focus on dialogue for just an action movie, though, so let it lie.

There’s barely anything here to recommend, but I’ll try real hard for the diehard fan before giving up and bowing out with a solid pan. On the plus side, Requiem sports an actual alien/predator hybrid, who clomps around the small Colorado town, alpha-dog to a ravenous rabble of newborn aliens. This small-town setting is another new feature; whereas no one can hear you scream in space, the deep jungle or the Antarctic, a few shrill hollers invoke the National Guard and all manner of chaos when extraterrestrial fiends overrun residential streets. Requiem also amps it up by throwing kids and pregnant mommies in the way of the monsters, and there are enough exploding guts to satisfy the gorehounds. The most entertaining moments aren’t those when alien meets human chest, but (like the billing promises) when Predator rumbles with his prey; some of these sequences want to be visceral, but they’re shot a little too dark, and edited a little too ADD, and surrounded by a little too much couldn’t-care-less filmmaking to really lift off. Like the first AvP movie, Requiem’s biggest defect is its criminal lack of tension.

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Finally, here’s the trailer to Hellboy 2: The Golden Army. The first Hellboy flick was one of my favorite comicbook movie adaptations, and I’ve been clamouring for another one. Well, it looks like Guillermo del Toro and Mike Mignola have delivered in spades. The original cast is back (Ron Perlman as Hellboy, Selma Blair), which is a big relief, and the new villain is an improvement as well. It looks like Hellboy 2 is going to be bigger and better than the first one.

TRAILER

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This is French Canadian Playboy model Katia Corriveau. If you’re not familiar with the reputation that girls from Quebec have, look it up. I’m sure she fits the bill in every way.

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If the last Iron Man trailer had you excited, then you’ll definitely want to check out this new international version which boasts some new scenes, including a few with Gwyneth Paltrow and Robert Downey Jr. I cannot wait for this flick, it looks amazing! Honestly, I would check it out even if the Iron Man armour wasn’t in the film, just as long as Downey played Tony Stark. Yup, he’s that good.

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Harry Potter fans, the rumors are true: Albus Dumbledore, master wizard and Headmaster of Hogwarts, is gay. J.K. Rowling, author of the mega-selling fantasy series that ended last summer, outed the beloved character Friday night while appearing before a full house at Carnegie Hall.

After reading briefly from the final book, ’Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows,’ she took questions from audience members.

She was asked by one young fan whether Dumbledore finds ’true love.’

’Dumbledore is gay,’ the author responded to gasps and applause. Read more

Some Comments:
Obviously she doesn’t NEED a publicity stunt in the obvious way, but I still
think this was one. I don’t know how else to characterize revealing another
facet of a character AFTER the final book has been printed. Potter fans live and
breath this stuff. What else can we expect her to reveal, based on a random
question from a fan? Since you seem to feel that the revelation was not
important to the character or the books, why did she reveal it now? She could
have deflected the question by saying just that. I like what SBN said. She has
changed the focus of the book…and for what purpose?

No one will ever bother to read my stuff, but on the off chance that someone asked, I’d be happy to share.

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