That Girl Site

The Sun UK says today that the mystery guy in these pictures is Britney’s bodyguard/new boyfriend, a former Israeli soldier known so far only as "Lee".

A source said: “Britney and Lee hit it off immediately.  He is her perfect type. She loves guys who work out and he is in great shape from his days serving in the Israeli Army.  He also has a few tattoos, which she loves. They’ve spent so much time together that one thing led to another and their relationship became physical.  They are in Mexico together. They’ve been having a great time — Lee’s put a smile on her face.”

Eww.  The idea of banging Britney at this point is gross, I don’t care what she looks like.  The corral of retards that have already been in that is discouragement enough.   That list of guys is like something a girl would do if she hated her vagina and wanted to punish it.  She might as well just attack it with her shoe.

The mystery man seen frolicking with Britney Spears in Cabo earlier this week has finally been identified — his name is Lee, and he’s a former Israeli soldier turned Britney Spears bodyguard. (For those of you keeping track, that would be the fourth time Britney has taken to porking a member of her entourage). A source told The Sun

“Britney and Lee hit it off immediately. He is her perfect type. She loves guys who work out and he is in great shape from his days serving in the Israeli Army. He also has a few tattoos, which she loves. They’ve spent so much time together that one thing led to another and their relationship became physical. They are in Mexico together. They’ve been having a great time — Lee’s put a smile on her face.”

Of course, cigarettes and Burrito Supremes also put a smile on her face, but you can’t have sex with either of them. Not without a whole lot of mess and burning when you pee. I guess this guy was the next best thing.

Ultra-crappy pictures of Brit horseback riding in Cabo:

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In an attempt to get Ali Lohan’s movie career rolling, mother Dina sent her 14-year-old daughter to a meet-and-greet with a porn producer. According to MSNBC

In [last Sunday's] episode [of "Living Lohan,"] Ali appears at a casting call for a role in the upcoming horror flick “Troll.” One of the men [she interviewed with while she was there] was Peter Davy — the man-behind-the-cam on “Breast Wishes 14,” “Texas Crude” and “Bun Sisters 12” — a fact that publicity-loving momager Dina was supposedly unaware of until TMZ broke the news.

Mama Lohan [is reportedly] steaming mad and “ready to roll heads,” about the mix-up.

There are certain types of hairless rats kill their young immediately after birth. Of course, they kill because of the same genetic anomaly that makes them hairless also makes them unable to lactate. Dina Lohan doesn’t have any excuse.

Ali in Barely Legal Teen Vogue:

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Rachel Bilson might have a struggling career, but she was looking cute in Culver City as she walked to her car enjoying her coffee and rocking some seriously funky heels.  Rachel does have a new movie in post production called New York, I Love You which stars Shia LaBeouf, Blake Lively, Natalie Portman, and many more hot young Hollywood stars.  Hopefully the movie is better than those freak shoes - they just look dangerous!

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Since nobody wanted to pay to watch him give some skank a Dirty Sanchez, Screech has decided to cash in on his only real claim to fame by writing an exposé about his years on “Saved by the Bell.” According to Rush and Molloy

Dustin Diamond has a deal to pen a salacious tell-all about the ’80s hit [that] promises tales of “sexual escapades among cast members, drug use, and hardcore partying.”

Unless Mr. Belding was balls-deep in cross-dressing Taiwanese boys and heroin addiction, I can’t think of anything I’d like to read less than a “behind the scenes memoir” of Saved by the fucking Bell. Except maybe the Feed & Seed catalog from cover to cover or that audit notice I got from the IRS yesterday.

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FROM io9

I had high hopes for the reunion of my two favorite scifi FBI agents in X-Files: I Want To Believe. Unfortunately the conspiracy-busters are too bogged down in tedious relationship drama to make time for much actual investigating. Too often, overwrought dialog waters down those great, make-you-want-to-whistle-the-theme-song moments. And it doesn’t even develop Mulder and Scully in an interesting way: the only information we share is how big the top secret file in Mulder’s pants is, and what our super agents are “feeling.” Click through for the entire review, including spoilers.

It’s been many years since Fox Mulder (David Duchovny) and Dana Scully (Gillian Anderson) worked together. Both have left the bureau and are pursuing their own personal work. Scully is pushing for advanced research on a cute little patient that’s marked for death, while Mulder spends his time clipping articles in his crazy room and growing a fantastic beard. Mulder has all but been forgotten by the FBI and is now regarded as a alien nut (hence the beard).

Conveniently located about a few miles from where both Scully and Mulder are living in West Virgina, a young FBI agent has gone missing and the only lead the government has is a psychic priest who also happens to be a raging pedophile Father Joe (Billy Connolly). Father Joe leads the FBI team manned by Dakota Whitney (Amanda Peet) and Drummy (Xzibit) to a severed arm in the snow but still he can’t find the girl and knows not why they’re linked. Whitney believes in Mulder, but not his tag-along girlfriend Scully, and she asks him to leave his life of recluse and help the team find their FBI agent.

Back in the swing of things, Scully and Mulder team up again to go all bad cop good cop on Father Joe. Scully just can’t seem to let go of the fact that Joe molested 37 altar boys in church. The actual digging and investigating that both Scully and Mulder do is by far the best part of the movie. It’s been a long time since the audience has seen the pair in action, and immediately it reminds you why everyone loved these two. Scully and Mulder pushed each other and dealt with these supernatural and paranormal happenings by breaking down each others psyches and flaws. It made it more interesting to watch Scully battle her disbelief and Mulder try to rein himself in from blindly believing any psychic. It’s why the two worked. But when you focus that sort of tension on a relationship, it just sounds like a pair of bickering babies. Especially when you give them lines like, “Your stubborness is why I love you, but it’s also why we can’t be together.”

The fleeting moments where the two succeed are bludgeoned to death with the will-they-won’t-they arguing. Once back investigating the “dark side,” Scully freaks out and can’t handle it. She hates losing Mulder to his scifi passions — which is symbolically represented by the shaving of his beard, sigh. While they are more entertaining to watch on the case, battling the big bad seems to rip the two apart as Scully lays down an ultimatum: her or the X-Files. But not before the incredibly uncomfortable moment where Scully makes penis jokes about Mulder’s junk being bigger than “a little something” in bed. Too much information, Mr. Carter.

Meanwhile, the FBI team has discovered that the disappearance of the FBI agent is actually linked to multiple disappearances across the community. Father Joe leads the team to a frozen lake full of limbs and extremities. The FBI decides that all these body parts point to a black market organ-harvesting operation.

After googling Stem Cell Research a few times, Scully stumbles upon some old research where Russians try to amputate and reattach dog heads. Seeing these pictures makes her believe that this isn’t a black market operation but a Dr. Frankenstein lab. She pieces this together from google? Isn’t she a doctor? Wouldn’t she know a little more about stem cell research? How did amputated dog heads pop up in that google search? And why is that where she goes with this discovery, erroneous. Anyways here’s a video similar to the things she printed out from google.

Meanwhile the black market henchman (Callum Keith Rennie) is running all over town picking up more body parts for his monster boyfriend and pushing over anyone in his way. Callum’s character is simply a menace. There is an attempt at a big reveal when they show his connection to Father Joe, but his character showed so few emotions besides rage that you can’t really be bothered to care what happens to him.

Either way, the gang catches up to the Frankenstein lab just in the nick of time to catch a few monstrous creations. True to X-Files form one of the agents is put in peril and the other has to save them. You know they’re never going to kill off Mulder or Scully because then they couldn’t make more movies. So it’s really a moot point when either of them (or their relationship) is in danger. But the fairly exciting lab scene ending makes way for one amazing cameo that brought cheers from the crowd (which I won’t spoil cause it’s the only exciting thing that happens in the movie).

The film spends too many moments arguing about emotions, and not enough time on monsters or aliens. I’m distressed that they decided not to follow a mythology and add to the spook factor. There are no aliens, black oil, super soldiers and not one cancer man to speak of. Any reference to the shows past was made in an extraordinarily superficial manner: for example they way Mulder off-handedly remarks about their child that passed away in one sentence, or a pan in on sunflower seeds. It’s almost crass how carelessly they throw away the characters’ past.

And moments for exciting character development were tossed aside. For example nothing was done with the obvious flirting the lady FBI Agent Whitney was attempting with Mulder. Why not throw in a little jealousy and mix it up? Instead the movie just uses her for a cheap thrill when nameless henchman throws her down an elevator shaft. Mulder isn’t even upset when she dies.

Overall this movie could have been so much more exciting. They were experimenting with severed heads here, people! But the actual science fiction took a back seat to Scully and Mulder’s relationship, which made no real process at all. So go if you’re a fan looking to see what these two look like now, but don’t expect any sort of validation for the years you dedicated to this show’s mythology. It’s just a lot of bickering and a few cheap thrills.

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While J.J. Abrams‘ Star Trek movie isn’t showing any footage at Comic-Con, someone over at Ain’t It Cool News claims to have seen a couple of space scenes from the movie, including special effects in progress. The scenes, as described, give a hint as to how the Enterprise bridge will look, but also how the warp effect will come across. Plus there are some hints about the movie’s overall plot. Consider this a single Saturday morning spoiler.

Ain’t It Cool’s source says the Enterprise bridge has a bigger viewscreen than the original series version, and it’s closer to the captain’s chair and the forward consoles. The Enterprise escorts some freighters towing giant cargo crates at warp speed, and on the bridge, the viewscreen shows a streaky warp effect with some rainbow tinges, not unlike Star Trek: The Motion Picture’s warp effect. Everyone on the bridge is in a cadet’s uniform except the captain (Pike, I presume), who’s in his thirties or forties. So is this a training exercise or something?

And then some bad guys attack, smashing the unshielded freighters and destroying the U.S.S. Yorktown, which is a Constitution class ship. We see the Yorktown with its nacelles and top half of its secondary hull trashed, with smoke coming out. And then a human-looking bad guy appears on the viewscreen.

In the second scene, the captain exchanges verbal jabs with the bad guy, whose ship is pointy with three nacelles. The Enterprise launches a huge photon torpedo, twice the size of the original series versions. And then fires phasers, which are yellowy-orange and makes the bad guy’s ship (the Sunfire?) shake. The bad guy fires photon torpedos back, and both ships’ shields are flashing electric white, and cadets are being flung everywhere on the Enterprise.

More details on these scenes (which sound cool, if real) at the link. [AIn't It Cool News]

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Political thinking, wrote Orwell, suffers from a universal problem. “People can foresee the future only when it coincides with their own wishes, and the most grossly obvious facts can be ignored when they are unwelcome.” You’d think by now that sentence would be printed and tacked above every editorial desk in every newspaper bureau around the world. Yet who hasn’t read recently that Barack Obama is already the next president of the United States? Even where this presumption isn’t stated outright, it’s implied with enough moonbeams-and-gillyflowers sentimentality (halos if you’re Rolling Stone) that every guilty hack in the country must have laughed hardest at last week’s Onion headline: “’Time’ Publishes Definitive Obama Puff Piece.” (“When the American people cast their vote in November,” remarked the only slightly exaggerated version of editor Richard Stengel, “this is the piece of fluff they’re going to remember.”)

Obama himself told donors at a Monday night fundraiser that his odds of winning were “very good,” which is surely something donors like to hear but not something the latest USA Today/Gallup poll can confirm. It has John McCain ahead by four points among “likely” voters.

Out of the country, the mood is even more besotted, if not schizophrenic. After quitting the scene in Germany last week, Obama was helpfully sworn in by the newspaper Der Spiegel, which crooned, “Anyone who saw Barack Obama at Berlin’s Siegessäule on Thursday could recognize that this man will become the 44th president of the United States.”

The paper might be forgiven a lapse into premature wish fulfillment, but it can’t quite be forgiven a lousy short-term memory for its own reporting. It was only back in January of this year that Der Spiegel announced, with equal certainty, that Number 44’s days were numbered:

The euphoria is gone, the friendly fire has started: Barack Obama is suddenly looking less like a superstar and more like just another candidate. His message isn’t hitting home with the three most important groups of voters: women, older Americans and blue-collar workers.

All of those people who’ve been dreaming of America’s first black president now have to slowly wake up. It’ll happen one day, hopefully, but not in this election.

White House races are as much about marketing as anything else, so it’s actually rather sobering that Advertising Age has run an editorial by Ken Wheaton warning the media that it should have a Plan B for the very possible contingency that Obama loses.

I don’t want to be a downer, but I also don’t want you collapsing into a state of shock in the event of a McCain victory. Maybe you should have an oxygen bag on hand and a personal flotation device. I’m of the school of thought that the president usually isn’t as important as we think he is — especially when it comes to the economy. But I’m afraid that if Obama loses, I’ll wake up Wednesday morning to find that the major networks have forgotten to put stuff on the air. Marketers might call their agencies to find that no one’s shown up for work. New York and L.A. might actually come to a standstill.

Or the networks and newspapers will simply pretend they never called it the other way. Odd, because there’s a whole industry cliché tailored to account for bogus political predictions.

Dewey Defeats Truman. This fateful episode is invoked whenever pundits want to call each other out for failing to heed its cautionary value. On Nov 3., 1948, the Chicago Tribune published a few hundred copies of the headline, announcing the election of Republican Thomas E. Dewey to the presidency, before issuing a second edition that reported, whoops, Truman won. The error was made even more glaring by his margin of victory: He took 303 electoral votes, as against the 189 racked up collectively by Dewey and Strom Thurmond, who ran on the segregationist ticket of the States Rights Democratic Party.

Truman loved the snafu. “That ain’t the way I heard it!” he remarked while holding up a copy of the sham Tribune. Years later, the publishers were good sports to mock themselves and their epochal bloomer: They had planned to give Truman a plaque containing a replica of the false headline to mark the occasion of the 25th anniversary of the ‘48 election, but the then-ex-prez died before he could receive it, though (probably) not before the paper wrote his obituary.

Closer to our time, professional temperature-takers have been humiliated for similar reasons.

The fog of Zogby. John Zogby’s polling company had previously done an admirable job of polling elections, at least judging by how well the outcomes jibed with the Zogby data. Then the grim go-round of 2004 hit and the man himself decided to venture beyond raw statistics and into the realm of prophecy. Zogby’s numbers leading up to Election Day were good, but even before the polls had closed, he called the thing for Kerry with uncannily precise wrongness: 311 to Bush’s 213, with 14 votes still up in the air. “Bush had this election lost a long time ago,” he said, claiming that voters would pick “any candidate who was not Bush.” This statement was actually at odds with Zobgy’s final poll for the day, which put Bush over by a mere point. “I will do better next time,” Zogby promised. “I will just poll, not predict.”

Still, his methodology had been needlessly disgraced due to his grandstanding, which called into question his business sense. After all, when your job is to ask people what they think in order to get a sense of where the nation is headed, your own personal opinion matters least.

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You might not know who Shigeo Tokuda is yet, but you will … because everybody loves Shigeo! He’s the 73-year-old man who happens the hottest elderly pornstar in Japan, which is like totally adorable. Or at least the U.S. media seems to think so, since he’s been featured in glowing tributes on CNN, in addition to his mention in Time magazine, two outlets that aren’t exactly known for celebrating anything porn-related (or even mildly sexual, for that matter.) But when it comes to the wacky Japanese and their crazy old people fetish, it’s the feel good story of the year! But we still have some questions …

Like why is it okay for him to inspire the elderly, but Sasha Grey can’t inspire you? Maybe if she sticks around until she’s 80 she’ll make the cover of Time. And why no mention of his equally old female partners? Is it not as remarkable for them to get laid? Which leads us to the most important elephant in the porn studio that both stories chose to ignore: What about Viagra? Even most twenty-three year olds these days can’t perform without a little pharmaceutical assistance. Or maybe this story should be in the “medical miracles” section instead?

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 Some leading astronomers are quite confident that mankind will make contact with intelligent alien life within two decades. The search for extraterrestrial life will leap forward next year when NASA launches the Kepler space telescope. The instrument will be constantly scanning the same 100,000 stars over its four-year mission with the exciting objective of discovering Earth-sized planets in the habitable zones around suns.

This will allow SETI to hone in on where the odds of life are possibly greatest. Currently, SETI’s mission to find life on other planets is like trying to find the proverbial needle in a haystack. But now, whenever Kepler identifies planets most likely to sustain life, the team at SETI will be able to focus in on those solar systems using deep-space listening equipment. This will be a huge upgrade from their present work of randomly scanning the outer reaches of space for some kind of sign or signal. Also, upping the ante, is the recent discovery of Earth-like planets outside our solar system, which has led astrophysicists to conclude that Earth-like planets are likely relatively common in our galaxy.

“Everything has caused us to become more optimistic,” said American astrophysicist Dr Frank Drake in a recent BBC documentary. “We really believe that in the next 20 years or so, we are going to learn a great deal more about life beyond Earth and very likely we will have detected that life and perhaps even intelligent life elsewhere in the galaxy.”

However, some astrophysicists have warned that we humans may be blinded by our familiarity with carbon and Earthlike conditions. In other words, what we’re looking for may not even lie in our version of a “sweet spot”. After all, even here on Earth, one species “sweet spot” is another’s species worst nightmare. In any case, it is not beyond the realm of feasibility that our first encounter with extraterrestrial life will not be a solely carbon-based occasion.

Alternative biochemists speculate that there are several atoms and solvents that could potentially spawn life. Because carbon has worked for the conditions on Earth, we speculate that the same must be true throughout the universe. In reality, there are many elements that could potentially do the trick. Even counter-intuitive elements such as arsenic may be capable of supporting life under the right conditions. Even on Earth some marine algae incorporate arsenic into complex organic molecules such as arsenosugars and arsenobetaines. Several other small life forms use arsenic to generate energy and facilitate growth. Chlorine and sulfur are also possible elemental replacements for carbon. Sulfur is capably of forming long-chain molecules like carbon. Some terrestrial bacteria have already been discovered to survive on sulfur rather than oxygen, by reducing sulfur to hydrogen sulfide.

Nitrogen and phosphorus could also potentially form biochemical molecules. Phosphorus is similar to carbon in that it can form long chain molecules on its own, which would conceivably allow for formation of complex macromolecules. When combined with nitrogen, it can create quite a wide range of molecules, including rings.

So what about water? Isn’t at least water essential to life? Not necessarily. Ammonia, for example, has many of the same properties as water. An ammonia or ammonia-water mixture stays liquid at much colder temperatures than plain water. Such biochemistries may exist outside the conventional water-based “habitability zone”. One example of such a location would be right here in our own solar system on Saturn’s largest moon Titan.

Hydrogen fluoride methanol, hydrogen sulfide, hydrogen chloride, and formamide have all been suggested as suitable solvents that could theoretically support alternative biochemistry. All of these “water replacements” have pros and cons when considered in our terrestrial environment. What needs to be considered is that with a radically different environment, comes radically different reactions. Water and carbon might be the very last things capable of supporting life in some extreme planetary conditions.

At any rate, the odds of there being some type of life somewhere out there are good. As for intelligent life, well, that will depend on the definition of intelligence. There are a lot of other intelligent species here on Earth besides humans, that we don’t generally regard as such. In spite of many Star Trek episodes to the contrary, the odds of alien life forms having evolved to talk, look and act exactly like super hot humans are slim to none. If life is out there, it will have evolved according to it’s particular niche in the universe and will likely be quite foreign to us in the way it looks, communicates and thinks. We might not even be able to recognize hypothetical life forms as alive in the sense that we understand life. In fact, it would be more “miraculous” if we could effectively communicate with extraterrestrial life than to find that it exists. From that perspective, even if there are other life forms out there, we’d still be alone in the universe. Of course, that doesn’t mean we should look for the answers.

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Jennifer Aniston snapped pictures of boyfriend John Mayer as he performed at the Hard Rock Calling Festival in Hyde Park on Saturday. According to Us Weekly

“Jennifer must have taken about 10 photos during Mayer’s set,” [says] a source. When Mayer exited the stage, Aniston “wrapped her arms around his neck.”

What do you want to bet those pictures end up in a shrine along with a lock of his hair, a gris-gris, and the womb of a white rabbit soaked in rainwater? Jennifer’s going to be pregnant by the end of the year. Mark my words, people.

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Given the recent success of the Sex And The City movie, the most hotly anticipated film of 1997 is finally here: a movie version of the TV series “Friends.” According to Daily Mail

Cast members Jennifer Aniston, Courteney Cox, Matthew Perry, Matt LeBlanc, Lisa Kudrow and David Schwimmer will reprise their roles for a big-screen adaptation ‘within the next 18 months’, according to insiders. The project… will be produced by Warner Bros.

An R-rated version of Friends means we can expect to see Rachel’s and Monica’s tits and hear Chandler bandy about the f-word and see a lot more ass in Joey’s sex scenes, all without a laugh track. I’m sure people are going to want to cough up $8.50 for that kind of ground-breaking cinema. Or they could just wad up the eight-fifty and take a dump on it. Either way, you’re sure to get your money’s worth.

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Since she started dating 30 year-old John Mayer, 39 year-old Jennifer Aniston has dropped nearly twenty grand a month on maintaining a youthful visage. The Enquirer says

“Her monthly regimen includes private instruction with a top yoga guru and personal training sessions. Jen pays a private chef for organic, high-protein, low-fat meals [and] goes for anti-cellulite sculpting treatments twice a month. She calls the treatments ‘necessary tune-ups.”

But all those tune-ups might not be doing the trick. Just two days before Jen flew to Amsterdam to meet Mayer, the singer was busy cheesing up some chick in a Dutch coffeehouse. According to In Touch

On June 20, John approached a writer from Manhattan Beach and sat beside her at her table. “I think he thought I was from Amsterdam, because he said, ‘I am John and I am a singer.’ I asked him what his relationship status was. He said, ‘It’s vague.’ I asked him what that meant and he said, ‘You know, it’s very vague.’ What she did say is that John was acting very much like a single man. “I never would have guessed he had a girlfriend at all. ”

Anti-cellulite spa sculpting treatments: $1,000. Thrice-weekly yoga session with top Hollywood guru: $3,000. Organic high-protein meals flown in by your personal chef: $3,500. Finding out your boyfriend cheated on you with some slut in fourteen dollars’ worth of Wet ‘n’ Wild from Walgreens: priceless. There are somethings that money can’t buy. For everything else, there’s actual self-esteem.

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Rejoice! Your faith in Christian Bale can now be restored — his mother and sister filed those unfortunate charges earlier this week after he refused them a $200,000 loan. It’s all starting to make sense now! According to The Sun

The women said sister Sharon needed [$200,000] to help her bring up her three children. Christian was asked to loan [it to] her but refused and that caused an almighty row. Sources close to Bale said Jenny inflamed the situation by hurling insults about his wife.

[His mother and sister say] they did not want any publicity. But they say he bullied them. They are both devastated that it has come to this but want him to be taught a lesson.

You can always count on relatives to show up at an inopportune time and start demanding money. Especially in my family, where the monetary demands occasionally come with a court-ordered paternity test. Did I mention I’m from the South? Woo doggie! Cue the banjo music and the moonshine jug any time now.

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