That Girl Site

C’mon, you got all hell breaking loose with a vile looking Sabertooth, Gambit (finally), a super cute White Queen, and Wolverine attacking helicopters with only his claws. Sounds like a blast to me. X-Men Origins: Wolverine hits theatres May 1st, 2009.

Jessica Biel stars as a stripper trying to earn money to care for her terminally ill son in the upcoming movie “Powder Blue.” Now, before you go out and piss away eight dollars to see Jessica Biel naked, you should know there’s a catch: even though she’s a stripper, she never actually gets naked in the movie. Or even topless, for that matter. The Daily Mail says

    The cautious actress… has signed a contract that explicitly details the bare minimum fans will see. The contract [bans] shots of her breasts (nipples from the front and side) and her bottom (side view only) in the Crash-like ensemble drama Powder Blue.

Well, that’s just fucking genius, man. Hollywood. I swear. Look — strippers strip. That’s just what they do. It’s intrinsic to their character. Centering your movie around a stripper who doesn’t take her clothes off is like casting Will Ferrell in a sports movie without John C. Reily or not killing the token black guy in the first five minutes of a sci-fi flick. It breaks every cardinal rule of movie-making.

MORE PYTHON VIDEOS

This movie is going to rock.

A remarkably svelte Britney Spears writhes around totally naked in the video for her latest musical masterpiece “Womanizer.” Just how did she get so hot so quick? Other than the digital retouching and the lens filters, I mean? Why, with the help of magic pills, of course! MSNBC says

“She’s lost a total of 25 pounds over the last several months. She’s losing about two pounds a week [by] taking Nutrition 53 [and] working out.” (Nutrition 53, interestingly, is the supplement backed by Bill Romanowski, the former NFL linebacker).

Magical football pills, at that! I was figuring something a little more Hollywood, like Adderall and Hepatitis C, but I guess NFL-endorsed supplements work, too. Provided there’s not already an old woman speaking in riddles and in need of a cow wandering around downtown Los Angeles.

Here’s the video